Outline of presentation by Eugene Davy Solicitor at the launch of Relationships Ireland on Tuesday 21st June 2011
I have been specialising as a Solicitor in the area of family law for over thirty years. I am very glad to have this opportunity to make a few brief comments and observations about the breakdown of marriages and other relationships.
The financial implications of a broken marriage or a broken relationship are substantial for the individuals and families involved and also for the State.
Invariably when a marriage or a relationship breaks down each party will have to buy or rent a home. So instead of there being one family home or shared home there will be two homes and there will be two sets of utility bills and other outgoings which will have to be discharged.
There are very significant legal and other costs associated with the sale of a family home or shared home and the purchase of two alternative homes.
There are also very significant legal and other costs for each party involved in a Separation or Divorce.
If the parties themselves do not have the financial means to purchase or rent an alternative home the State will inevitably pick up the tab by providing accommodation or subsidising accommodation at great cost.
So too does the State pick up the tab by providing legal aid for those of modest means.
A huge portion of the cases before all of the Courts relate to family law cases and again the State picks up the tab for Judges’ salaries and all that goes with providing the infrastructure for the administration of the Courts’ services.
In addition to these and other financial costs there are very important other costs of a non-financial nature which flow from the breakdown of marriages and relationships and which are caused by unhappy homes and unhappy childhoods etc. In addition to the damage caused to the individuals involved – much of which endures for a lifetime - there is significant damage caused to society as a whole.
For these and other reasons the services which this agency – Relationships Ireland - and other similar agencies provide is absolutely vital. It is vital that Relationships Ireland and similar agencies receive utmost Government support including adequate funding. In this regard Minister Frances Fitzgerald’s presence here tonight is indicative and important. The availability of the services provided by Relationships Ireland and other similar agencies on a nationwide basis would undoubtedly prevent many marriages and other relationships from breaking down. The availability of such services would substantially reduce the costs on the exchequer associated with the breakdown of relationships and it would improve the quality of life for individuals and families and for society as a whole.
The first port of call
When a marriage or a relationship is in trouble it is absolutely vital that the first port of call for the couple is an agency such as Relationships Ireland. Too often the first port of call for an individual or a couple is a Solicitor by which time it is invariably too late to save the relationship. Over the years I have noticed how few of my clients avail of marriage or relationship counselling before consulting me. Many marriage and relationship difficulties of many of my clients could have been resolved had they obtained counselling at a much earlier stage.
Too often too the first port of call is the Garda Station. If there is an unpleasant row or incident between a couple one party often calls the Guards complaining of abusive or quasi-abusive behaviour by the other. When the Guards call out to the home they often explain that there is nothing they can do to assist as there is no Protection Order or Safety Order or Barring Order in place. The Guards often suggest to the complainant that she or he should go down to the District Court and make an Application for one of the aforesaid Orders. Quite often the party who called the Guards goes down to the District Court the following morning and issues various Applications. The marriage and relationship is now on a conveyor belt leading to an adversarial Court Hearing. The parties become polarised and communication is often conducted through Solicitors. Their relationship becomes a case. Even if the case does not end up in Court serious damage can be done to individuals and to the relationship. Sometimes such damage is irreparable.
The last point I want to make is this:-
When marriages or relationships do break down and when relationships cannot be reconciled it is essential that there is a framework and a jurisprudence which encourages and enables individuals to resolve their difficulties in a dignified and cost effective manner and in a manner which enables both of them and their families move on with their lives. Our present legal system is not conducive to doing so and indeed it is conducive to doing the very opposite.
For many years there has been much talk about Mediation and other forms of alternative dispute resolutions. Notwithstanding the excellent service provided by the Family Mediation Service there are still very few family law cases which are resolved in the context of Mediation.
While many of our Judges over recent years have been converted to the idea and benefits of Mediation by the time a case gets to a Judge it is often too late to invoke the Mediation process and to do so at such a late stage can be impractical and increase the costs already incurred.
For Mediation to work and to be at the forefront for resolving family law cases it has to be cost effective for the parties involved and consequently it has to be invoked at a very early stage before the traditional legal process commences.
If a couple cannot reconcile their difficulties with the help of counselling – all is not completely lost. The couple can be encouraged and advised by the Counsellor to avail of Mediation. The Judge encounters the couple in the context of a case at the end of the legal process whereas the Counsellor encounters the couple in the context of the relationship and before the matter becomes a case. I firmly believe that counsellors and the counselling profession can do more than Judges or anyone else to encourage and pave the way for Mediation to be at the forefront for resolving family law cases. I would very much welcome Mediation and other alternative dispute resolution frameworks becoming the norm and replacing to a significant extent our present adversarial system and the present way we conduct negotiations.
Eugene Davy Solicitor
E-mail: edavy@hayes-solicitors.ie
(Eugene Davy is a Partner in Hayes Solicitors (Dublin) and specialises in family law)
Eugene Davy, Partner, Hayes solicitors and Minister for Children, Frances FitzGerald keynote speakers at the recent relaunch of Relationship Ireland